I met an acquittance the other day and we started talking about writing. I confessed to him that I had not written casually in some time because I was concerned I wasn’t writing something informative, serious or ultimately meaningful. After much chastising, he encouraged me to start writing casually again as a form of expression. So I’ve decided to start by pulling up some of my old unfinished drafts…
I hate waiting for the bus. The queues under the burning sun, the standing and the struggling to rush in when the bus does arrive. But if I do have to wait for the bus, I sometimes like to look around and observe all the wild little trivialities of living in Lagos.
A man was crossing the road. A speeding Napep on the second lane didn’t wait for him to cross completely and almost hit him. The Napep just barely missed him and the vehicle ground to a sudden halt. In annoyance, the crossing man grabbed the Napep’s windshield wiper threatening to break it off as punishment for the drivers’ recklessness.
“You dey craze? You no see me?” He yelled with appropriate gesticulations.
The driver instead of apologising came down from his Napep and yelled back “You dey mad. Break that thing first.”
An argument ensued as they began to pose a standoff, sizing each other up, waiting for who will make the first violent attack. Potentially murderous driver vs. potentially suicidal pedestrian. As we all watched the familiar Lagos drama unfold, another passing pedestrian walked up to separate the quarrel. He tried to pacify Angry Pedestrian and pry the windshield wiper from his hands. Angry Pedestrian refused to budge.
“No, wait. Leave me, make I deal with this idiot.” He yelled again.
After 3 minutes of trying, the failed diplomat gave up and walked away, sucking on his Chelsea dry gin sachet. Finally, a passenger in the Napep comes down and she begs Angry Pedestrian.
“No vex ehn. He no see you. Abeg. Abeg. Sorry, no vex.” She pleads.
Angry Pedestrian lungs at the driver in one final standoff but Pleading Passenger blocks him and turns to the driver.
“You too enter and let’s be going nau.”
The driver and his passenger enter the vehicle and zoom off as she again waves an apology. The exchange takes roughly 10 minutes. I see the people waiting on the queue with me grinning at the drama.
“He no get power na why he no fight.” one of them says.
Well, I think all he wanted was an apology.
